Why talk about sex?

Talking about sex is one of the most essential skills to develop for a happy, fulfilling sex life.

Great sex doesn’t just happen. Culture tells us that when the chemistry is right, there will be fireworks. That talking about sex takes the romance away.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Great sex happens when you can communicate - both verbally and non-verbally - about your desires, needs, boundaries and emotions.

Imagine going to a restaurant and not communicating. No words, no gestures. What is the likelihood of getting your favorite meal?

But most people are shy when it comes to talking about sex. Most of us have learned that talking about sex is impolite, crass or even perverted. We weren’t allowed to talk about sex as kids, and this lesson sticks with us through adulthood.

The good news? A great question can get the ball rolling! This resource includes huge lists of conversation starters. Let these prompts propel you into conversation, and then be as open, honest and nonjudgmental as you can for one another.

These kinds of intimate conversations are great during long car trips, walks, meals out and any other time you can give one another your full attention!

Remember, talking about sex can feel challenging at first. Notice if you are getting embarrassed, ashamed or afraid at any point during your conversation. If you get stuck in these feelings, or feel overwhelmed at any point, a few sessions with a great therapist can guide you through trickier terrain.

Here is a huge resource put together by our friend Aida Manduley, LCSW, to help you find a therapist:  bit.ly/getatherapist